I really don't understand people who continually update their facebook statuses. I can understand the occasional update about travelling, a sports team, big news, snow days, etc. I cannot understand the incessant updates that fill us in on every single detail of your life. I really don't give a shit if you had a wonderful day cooking for your "hubby" (I really hate when people throw the word hubby around on FB) or your children and cleaning your house. I just want to tell these annoying facebookers to get a Twitter account and save all their cheesiness for Tweets. Twitter is great because I can simply choose not to follow people like this. I'm sure you're wondering why I don't just defriend said annoying people. Even though I would rather carve my eyes out with a dirty spork than read annoying FB updates, I hate to miss out on pictures, wall posts, and profile information by defriending these losers. The people that tend to update their statuses the most, also tend to be the people that make me feel better about myself by having such tragic pictures, cheesy profile quotes, and ridic posts from their friends.
Food for thought: People that constantly update their status are usually doing so for one of the following uber-stupid reasons.
1.) He or she obvi wants someone in particular to read it. Let's be honest, this person that you want to read your status has better things to do than read about what your lame ass is doing via FB. I had a friend that kept updating her status after her boyfriend dumped her. She would write crap like "I'm so happy and having such a great day!" Obvi you're nothaving a "great day" if you're taking the time to update your FB status. He's prob feeling sorry for you because you clearly haven't moved on and everyone on FB knows it.
2.) He or she wants to let everyone know just how fulfilled they are with their lives. In other words they're either beyond full of themselves and attempting to make others jealous or they actually hate their lives and are trying to put up a happy facade (or maybe still trying to make other people jealous). In both cases these fools obvi need a reality check. No one is going to be jealous of your most recent status update about what your kids* did today. In fact no one is ever going to be jealous of you, because clearly all you do is sit around and post new statuses. If you feel the need to share that crap, start a blog and we can all just steer clear of it. Stop overflowing my news feed. Becuase I don't care and I'm pretty sure no one else does either.
*I realize that I made numerous references to status updaters that are married and or have kids. That's because these are the worst freaking kind. The Pregnant Women Are Smug ladies need to write a song about the women with kids that are smug. An annoying status updater with children is actually what got me jacked up enough to write this post. She tends to average 3 to 4 status updates a day, and although she only had one update today it annoyed me because she misspelled chili (as in the food). She spelled it Chile, as in the country. Spesh. If you're going to spend your time annoying the rest of us, at least be grammatically correct while you're doing it. My sisters and I used to randomly e-mail each other with her status updates...we called it her thought of the day. She provided us with lots o' entertainment (hence why I refuse to just straight up defriend her), until she put up pics of her prego belly and her pregnancy test. No one wants to see that shit.
Some of my personal favorites from her past status updates:
-"Cinderella is missing her morning dances with her daddy charming."
I just vommed a little.
-"ate four pieces of toast so that I'd have something to nurse my daughter. She is down for a nap, but now I'm feeling pretty yucky again. My son and my mothe are playing and my husband is doing our taxes. I think it is time for my first nap of the day!"
I think it's time someone permenantly deleted her from FB.
-"loves my son's Nalgene Grip and Gulp sip cup. This thing is indestructable and the valve is great. It won't leak... (unless you forget to put the valve in and your son turns it upside down in his stroller! lol) But seriously. I love it!"
But seriously get a life. You've lowered yourself to writing status updates about a freaking sippi cup.
-after taking a what wedding ring am I FB quiz she posted this gem:
"okay my engagement ring is a round somewhat solitare (no other large stones) and I was a young bride. 21. Those are my EXACT goals in life. I have a taste for nice things, but for sure cut coupons and I made pot roast yesterday! I'm so conservative but get discouraged in our leaders if I watch too much politics..."
Do you get discouraged because you didn't understand what you were watching? I mean... I don't think she even understood what she was trying to get across in that post. Believe it or not those are her exact words verbatum. God help us when she starts writing more political themed posts....
“It’s this terrible, syrupy kosher wine. And it’s caked in the front of my fucking brain.”
“On a scale from zero to hungover, I am dead.”
“I am literally trying to squint the brain out of my head. It’s that’s bad.”
“I’mma just gonna lie here and pretend it’s tomorrow until that’s true.”
“That little part of me that puts up with your shit is dead. Don’t. Fucking. Push it.”
“Blacked out. Woke in a ditch. Subject closed.”
“Are you fuckin-STEVE! YOU ABSOLUTE SHIT! MOTHERFUCKER!”
“I feel like shit and my wallet’s missing. It’s like I mugged myself.”
“All I know is that we ended up racking up a $300 tab at a Belgian beer bar. This headache is the most expensive thing I own right now.”
“Yo. We’re pretty sure we left something at your place last night but, uh…we can’t tell you what it is.”
“I’m wet because it rained last night. I’m wet because it rained last night. If I say it enough times, it will be true.”
“Whoop-de-fucking-doo, Dave.”
"Well Whiskey and Regret had a baby....and that baby was me."
“These are…bushes. That, and the location of my party hat are the two things I know right now.”
“‘S’alright. I only killed the part of my brain I don’t need.”
“Laying on my back means I’m asleep. Laying on my stomach means you need to get the Hell out of here right now.”
"I woke up with more scabs than a meth addict. I will tell you I was mugged. Do not pry. The truth is far worse."
“If I could stop making this face, I would.”
“That…that wasn’t the real me last night. The real me knows that if I said those things to your face, then you would never shut the fuck up about it.” 
“Ah…ahhhhh…everything inside me wants out.”
“Man, I’m too exhausted to be disgusted. Fuckin’ save me some.”
