You Don't Know Jack

I will never forget the huge chunk of my childhood, maybe a year at best, that I spent being obsessed with the computer game (that's right I said computer game) You Don't Know Jack. My sister and I would literally spend hours playing this amazing random trivia game. It not only offered hilarious trivia questions, but also managed to set up crazy ways to answer. Some of my favorite parts of the game included picking names, screwing your opponent, and the final round of play also known as Jack Attack.

At the beginning of the game you get to pick your names. My sister and I quickly learned that failure to select a name meant that Jack selected a name for you. Needless to say, we never picked our own names again. Favorites included Udder Lover and Tricky Dick. Just a side note: Seeing as how I was in elementary school and my sister was in middle school, us thinking word combinations like Tricky Dick being the funniest things we'd ever heard is totally understandable. Each player got a screw at the start of play, and by screw I mean a legit floating screw next to your name on the screen. At any point during play you could press your designated screw key and screw your opponent, meaning they were forced to answer the question. Sometimes it backfired and my sister would end up earning more fake money, but I got the biggest kick out of it none the less. Jack Attack was always fun. Jack would give you a category at which point random words begin flashing across the screen one at a time. You have to hit your key every time you see a word that fits the category before your opponent does. Each time you're the first to hit your key for a correct word you win... wait for it...that's right fake money! Each time you hit a key for an incorrect word you lose some fake money. It's far more intense than it sounds. The words are gradually shown more quickly until the round is over. They get so fast towards the end that blinking is simply out of the question, if you want to be the one to win the most fake money that is. Did I mention that Jack makes sarcastic comments throughout the entire game?

We eventually quit playing You Don't Know Jack because we lost the CD and lost interest in the overall game. It was also made into a tv game show for a while, that we never actually watched. The good news is that Nintendo is allegedly creating a Wii version of You Don't Know Jack!!! If this is in fact true, I will be purchasing it at the first available opportunity and we will be playing it over Christmas nonstop. I have a feeling it's going to kick Charades ass. For those of you who will be participating in Christmas play, as well as post Christmas Party play, I have copied and pasted a list of the types of questions featured in the orig game. It might be a good idea to look them over, because I have already come up with the most amazing drinking game. It's even better than Asshole. I suggest you get your game face on.

Some Example Types of Questions:

• DisOrDat: Featured in all versions except Vol.1 and Sports, the DisOrDat is only played by one player, with a 30-second time limit. The player is given two categories and seven different subjects, and it is up to the player to determine which category the subject falls under (or, in some cases, whether the subject fits both categories). For example, a player might have to determine if Jay Leno was a daytime or a nighttime talk show host, or if orecchiette is a type of pasta or a parasite. Money is added for every correct answer, and deducted for every wrong answer, as usual; any questions not answered before the 30 seconds expires are treated as wrong, and penalized accordingly.
• Gibberish Questions: Featured in all PC versions except HeadRush. Players are given a mondegreen: a nonsensical phrase that rhymes with a more common phrase or title. For example, "Pre-empt Tires, Like Crack" could be the gibberish to The Empire Strikes Back. The first player to buzz in and type the correct answer wins the money. Clues are given as time passes, but the amount of money the player can win decreases by 5% of the initial starting value with every 1.5 seconds that elapse.
• HeadButt: Only existing in HeadRush, these also follow the rules of the Gibberish Questions. Players are given a word equation such as "color of pickles + opposite of night" and have to put it together to form a name or other group (in this case, the color of pickles is "Green", and the opposite of night is "Day", so the answer would be "Green Day").
• Trash Talkin' with Milan: Only existing in HeadRush, "Milan the Janitor" (voiced by Igor Gasowski) hosts a standard multiple choice question about grammar.
• Fill in the Blank: Instead of having four answers to choose from, you have to type the answer out.